tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-34334891862396879562012-02-16T02:42:52.363-05:00This is my playground. I tackle topics big and small that matter to everyone and no one at all.Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.comBlogger761100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-90770431662655555112011-12-06T19:33:00.002-05:002011-12-08T20:23:09.965-05:00

I finally have a manageable routine: Wake up around 7:00 AM to Chloe making cute baby noises. Pick her up, take her upstairs and change her. Bring her downstairs for Laura to feed her. Go to work. Wait eight hours to go home. Go home. Eat dinner. Do various things. Go to bed. That’s my typical weekday. But once in awhile, life throws you a wicked curveball that you don’t expect. My curveball

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-37044495472156131772011-10-15T09:23:00.000-04:002011-10-15T09:23:17.642-04:00

Chloe is seven weeks old today. These were seven long weeks that went by very quickly (if that makes any sense). She’s now starting to smile and make girlish cooing noises that make our hearts melt. I find myself saying cute but obvious things to her like “You got a nose!” and “Who’s a baby?” hoping she’ll let out something close to a girlish laugh. She’s tons of fun, even when we’re just

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-47002619758645811292011-09-17T08:48:00.000-04:002011-09-17T08:48:27.463-04:00

I changed a diaper this morning that smelled like old milk and bacon. It was interesting. Anyway, I haven’t posted any “life with baby” updates for while since I’ve been searching for that balance between full time employee and dad. I think it’s actually going pretty well (thanks to my wife who is kind enough to take all nighttime feedings and changings during the weekdays). But then again,

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-22554804378544635022011-09-06T20:03:00.000-04:002011-09-06T20:03:30.731-04:00

Today was my first day back to work with over eight hours away from Chloe. It was the longest we’ve been apart since her birthday a week and a half ago. Needless to say, it was a nice little break. Too bad I wasn’t sleeping. And before you think I’m heartless, I’ll admit that part of me really missed her. I missed the way she sometimes tries to suckle my knuckles… the strange noises she makes

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-62919905962388273872011-09-03T13:20:00.000-04:002011-09-03T13:20:44.796-04:00

A few people have asked me this question. Here’s the answer: Life was getting a little boring and predictable. I mean, how often can Laura and I go to a restaurant, not get dessert, come home before 9:00 PM, watch Cake Boss in the living room and the Weather Channel while in bed before it starts losing its luster? And since no one ever wanted to hang out with us, we figured hey, why not create

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-15806999930757925172011-09-02T17:46:00.000-04:002011-09-02T17:46:53.329-04:00

It’s been nearly a week since Chloe came into our lives. Juat a week ago, I was sipping over a pint and a half of stout in the dining room, reading through a beer magazine while Laura sat in the living room watching Ghostbusters. This was the scene just before her water broke at 11:30 PM. This week has been a whirlwind of excitement, worry, bliss, frustration and tears... and sometimes all at

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-81676378984287110842011-09-01T12:59:00.000-04:002011-09-01T12:59:11.021-04:00

The last few nights and days have run together. My wife and I sleep in four hour intervals and wake up to feed our daughter and change her diaper. It feels as if all we ever do is feed, change and console her. Last night was no exception. Although we were able to sleep uninterrupted from 9:30 PM until 2:00 AM, we woke to the sound of our crying newborn. After changing and feeding her, she was

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-42847478188599465502011-08-30T09:57:00.000-04:002011-08-30T09:57:54.510-04:00

Does anyone know of a good hotel I can check into for a few nights? As some of you may know, my wife and I welcomed our first child into the world on the morning of Saturday, August 27. I want to try and explain the amazing experience of childbirth but, well, I’m too tired to try (I’ll explain in a moment). At the hospital, my wife and I had a pretty good routine. Hold the baby, put her down,

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-24805856937793021852011-08-07T21:33:00.001-04:002011-08-07T21:34:00.401-04:00

People have been giving me (the expectant parent) all kinds of advice I didn’t ask for during the last nine months or so. Below are some of the most popular pieces of advice I’ve received since we were expecting. Your life is never going to be the same. Well, of course it’s not. We’re growing a human. Sometimes people say this one with a “you’re screwed now” tone while others give a more

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-84720922051066946612011-08-02T19:53:00.001-04:002011-08-02T19:56:44.585-04:00

If you follow my every move on Facebook, you probably know that I ate a bowl full of live ants this morning with my generic version of Golden Grahams. I followed my usual routine: Stumble out of bed, accidentally step on a cat, make my way to the kitchen with my eyes barely open, grab a bowl, spoon, cereal and milk and eat up. It was no different from any other morning. The cold milk, combined

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-8352098022149344312011-07-26T00:07:00.000-04:002011-07-26T00:07:58.839-04:00

I have a lot of good ideas that don’t always make it onto my blogs, but I make sure to share most of my clever thoughts with my wife. Sometimes I wish her brain was the Internet, posting my ideas instantly to the web. However there would be a few downsides to this ability… like sharing images of me in my Simpson boxers and white socks. It’s really an unprofessional image. Another humiliating

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-47533999171361549192011-07-23T15:52:00.001-04:002011-07-23T19:16:04.478-04:00

Wow. I had no idea how much work and effort it takes to be a good blogger. Good bloggers put in hours and hours of work – not only in their writing but in their design as well. I know some people blog full time, but how do they afford life? (I guess this is a trade secret I may never know.) I have great respect for those who blog like it’s their job. They have a reoccurring theme, regular

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-35683793507277645412011-06-06T20:52:00.001-04:002011-06-06T20:53:35.281-04:00

No posts, no readers. I’m well aware. On the bright side, I’ve been trying new things. I’m in the process of possibly becoming a freelance social media manager/consultant, I’m in the final stage of becoming a notary and I’ve joined the Twitterverse. Now you can track my every move! Although I’m now on Twitter, I’m not going to provide food consumption updates, bowel movement news or thoughts

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-55414552443769701332011-05-06T23:38:00.000-04:002011-05-06T23:38:49.760-04:00

I have the unique ability to destroy a garden hose with a single touch. And with only a few seconds of contact, I can destroy the hose hangout too. I do not know anyone else to possess this talent. After committing several hose murders, Laura suggested we get an expensive rubber hose that would surely be immune to my touch of death. So we went to our neighborhood lawn and garden center and

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-77775015637729747502011-05-03T19:53:00.000-04:002011-05-03T19:53:36.672-04:00

I bought an Amazon Kindle, and I sort of feel as though I’ve contributed to creating a lesser world. A year ago, I laughed at the idea of buying an e-reader, and now I find myself holding one in my living room. It’s really weird and I feel I’m losing my grip on myself. So am I contributing to a potentially bookless future? Am I the enemy? Or am I helping to save the world by using less paper?

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-8087878836839745532011-04-26T18:00:00.000-04:002011-04-26T18:00:52.204-04:00

I saw something today that I don’t see too often: Clown art. (And by “clown art,” I mean paintings of people dressed as clowns… not sculptures created by clowns.) I caught only a glimpse of the piece hanging on someone’s office wall. It looked as though a clown was walking across an empty void, just below five large clown heads. Perhaps this was the walking clown thinking about his other clown

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-84824101036255287532011-04-25T21:50:00.000-04:002011-04-25T21:50:10.626-04:00

After keeping the secret from our families for nearly a week, Laura and I decided to tell everyone that we did in fact learn of the baby’s gender during our last sonogram. We shared the news by baking a cake and dying the inside either blue or pink. When it came time for dessert, the first cut into the cake determined the gender. The cake was pink. It was a real surprise because many of us were

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-5185990613598617492011-04-15T22:41:00.000-04:002011-04-15T22:41:08.099-04:00

A van crashed into a nearby house earlier this evening. My wife and I were at home considering dinner at our favorite Mexican eatery when we heard what sounded like an avalanche. The electricity flickered off and on and then stayed off. We rushed to the window to see neighbors running down the street. That’s when I put some pants on and ventured out. About a third of the van was in the house.

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-26480795868203375532011-04-12T21:53:00.002-04:002011-04-12T21:53:56.267-04:00

So what do you think of this new layout? Let me know in the comments below!

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-29831358765174422772011-04-11T21:15:00.000-04:002011-04-11T21:15:58.367-04:00

So far, the worst part about this pregnancy (for me) is the regular cleaning of the box containing our cat turds and piss clumps. I often scoop the soiled sand rather hastily, kicking up particles into my mouth, my hair and, of course, onto my clothes. (Perhaps I should see this as practice for the human waste coming soon.) And even though baby has yet to arrive, it’s rare that I get a chance to

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-6941176563411845142011-03-27T15:40:00.010-04:002011-03-27T15:47:36.254-04:00

As I prepare myself for a sleepless life full of poop and puke on my clothes (or so I’m told), I’ve also been preparing the baby room for future life. Laura’s done most of the work, but yesterday I replaced the room’s two electrical outlets with new ones… and I’m proud of this. The room is ready for a fresh paint job, a crib and other baby related things. Painting and decorating should be

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-43637871874990964322011-02-05T21:49:00.001-05:002011-02-05T21:49:44.816-05:00

Coming from a Steelers Fan Friday at work, I was hungry for some good old “black and gold” cooking. I knew Eat N Park would kill my craving. (NOTE: If you think this is a promotional post for Eat N Park, you are wrong! Read on.) From the customers to the stuff for sale in the foyer, we arrived to a cluster of black and yellow. I felt good… I felt alive… I felt like devouring their famous Whale

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-27333022787322502312011-01-16T19:39:00.000-05:002011-01-16T19:39:40.035-05:00

I went to Best Buy today intending to use a few gift cards I received for Christmas. In the past, I could walk around BB and find half a dozen things I wouldn’t mind taking home. These days however, all I ever seem to do is walk around the store. Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, but I just see a lot of their merchandise as garbage in five years. The store is basically centered on the

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-63258399801382834622010-12-06T20:28:00.000-05:002010-12-06T20:28:12.369-05:00

How many times have you tried leaving a message and get the lengthy “the number you have dialed is not available” greeting? You know the one. In fact, you can probably recite the whole thing word for word and not even know it! Sometimes this robot message comes after your friend’s personal greeting: “Hi, this is Tammy. I can’t take your call at this time, but if you leave your name and number, I

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-31198878763277865382010-10-26T21:46:00.003-04:002010-10-26T21:47:04.007-04:00

One night about five years ago, my friend and I had dinner at the Waterfront. Afterwards, went in a department store to browse around and kill some time. I must have had a lot to drink, because I had to use the restroom right away. (Keep in mind that it wasn’t alcohol I’d been drinking… I think). I went into the first available stall and, well, did my thing. Relieved, I turned around and

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-15890500121048559462010-10-20T21:24:00.001-04:002010-10-20T21:27:58.213-04:00

In a nutshell, the problem with America is its citizens. Let me explain… People are too greedy. They want stuff. They love stuff. They can’t get enough electronics and smart phones with unlimited internet access that cost so much to maintain. However, the cost wouldn’t be a problem if people had the money to pay for the service. And why don’t they have any money? Because hardly anyone has a job

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-46685016527042559822010-09-07T22:13:00.000-04:002010-09-07T22:13:56.307-04:00

I’ve been lacking something lately. Maybe it’s motivation. Maybe it’s writer’s block. Maybe I’m just stuck in inertia. I’m not sure. I always have a dozen ideas swimming in my head at any given moment, but I’m also hesitant to act on them. (Not enough time in the day? Is that a good excuse?) You’ve probably seen my new Gray Collars blog. I’m hoping to use it as a springboard for my book (which

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-80826411030874415722010-08-14T12:06:00.000-04:002010-08-14T12:06:49.064-04:00

I am not afraid of dead bodies. I want to make that clear. Nearly every day, my coworkers will pass my basement office and say things like, “Ohhh. You’re near the morgue. That’s creepy!” The truth is that it’s not creepy for two reasons. The first is that a morgue is intended to temporarily store the deceased – not the living dead. There’s no one hungry for brains around here. And second (and

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-78409921985343360442010-08-06T22:23:00.002-04:002010-08-06T22:26:08.284-04:00

Tonight I was lost in the furniture maze known as Ikea. It was Laura’s idea to go there and so I moped along. My feet were throbbing five minutes after we walked through the entrance and I needed a break.“Hold on,” I say to Laura, “I want to see what’s on the menu.” So she looks at some gizmo while I take a few steps toward the Swedish meatball cafeteria (or whatever they call it).“Ah,” I say to

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-14520740386201254452010-08-04T21:05:00.004-04:002010-08-06T22:24:52.729-04:00

And by “sitting,” I mean writing. It’s really hard to walk and write. I’ve tried.It’s always a challenge for me to write when the weather is nice, but I want, no, need to make a solid effort to post more often. And, more importantly, I need to define a theme. These posts have been somewhat arbitrary with no real sense of direction, and I’m sick of it!In fact I may have to create a whole new blog

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-91315919087181696402010-08-03T21:39:00.004-04:002010-08-03T22:07:35.074-04:00

A colleague of mine has just published her first book, Operation Beautiful. I was so excited to grab a copy that I found my hands pressed to my mouth in anticipation as the sales associate led me to the self help section. I must have looked like a freak, but I was lucky to grab the last one. Yes!Seeing her book gave me such happiness because I too know the dream… the dream of seeing your book on

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-9326050546373721412010-07-24T23:35:00.001-04:002010-07-24T23:38:15.331-04:00

Despite all the negativity surrounding cigarettes and the act of smoking them, people are still puffing their lungs away. Why?The answer is simple: Smoking is still cool.Since the dawn of long hair and road trips to California, smoking has been a staple in the movement against The Man. And The Man hates smoking now more than ever. It’s a simple philosophy: Do what The Man does not approve!So

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-40780213796567820142010-06-24T21:55:00.002-04:002010-06-24T23:01:21.518-04:00

Now is a fangtastic time to be a vampire in America!I know it’s been over a month since my last post, but I’ve been caught up in the biggest blood sucking buzz since the West Nile Virus! Unless you’ve been living like a vampire bat in a cave within the last year, you are surely well aware of the “rise” of the living dead. Vampires have gone POP and there’s no stopping them from sucking your

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-85664988054289044792010-05-13T20:55:00.002-04:002010-05-16T20:50:34.177-04:00

I think I was taught how to use the library about a dozen or so times throughout my life. And I think three of those instances happened while in college.I know it goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. The library sure has changed over the years. Remember the Dewey Decimal System? (Is that system still in use?) Now, everything’s on a server somewhere and I can only imagine how it sent

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-52455568402052458372010-04-25T14:54:00.001-04:002010-04-25T14:55:32.500-04:00

I have to admit – I was nervous at first. But I knew it was something I just had to experience. Sure, I felt uncomfortable doing it in front of everyone, but this was a good opportunity… especially since it was free.I would occasionally see other people doing it. Sometimes it was in a shopping mall or in a storefront. Yes, it was odd to see people doing it in public (especially since I thought it

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-69617498395798366992010-04-15T22:39:00.000-04:002010-04-15T22:40:09.541-04:00

Tonight I visited a funeral home to pay respect to my best friend’s dad who passed away Saturday night following a rollercoaster battle for his health.Unfortunately I didn’t know the man very well. But he held himself as a modest man with simple tastes. A family man; the kind of man you don’t see much of anymore.And although Albert Sr. lived simply, he did not simply live. He helped bring three

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-54138396633232546052010-04-04T09:48:00.002-04:002010-04-04T09:55:15.884-04:00

It's been almost a month since I've posted anything, but it's been very difficult to sit in front of the computer while the weather has been so nice.But stay tuned because there is more on the way! Thanks for reading :-)

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-35472940837560588312010-03-14T22:10:00.001-04:002010-03-14T22:12:34.645-04:00

Before settling into bed on Wednesday night, I used the bathroom in the dark. I flushed the toilet and started to wash my hands. Suddenly, the sound of rushing water grew louder – and it wasn’t coming from the spout. I threw the light switch to find the toilet had become a fountain with water flowing everywhere.“Help!” I yelled for Laura who was already dozing off. “Water! Everywhere! Coming out!

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-43893769055188045562010-03-07T11:05:00.000-05:002010-03-07T11:06:55.785-05:00

It seems as though I can no longer contact my sister… unless I sit in front of the computer all day. I try to call just to talk and catch up, but she never answers her phone and rarely returns my messages. I’ve been trying to call for three weeks now with no success. It looks like the only way I’m going to hear from her is if I get one of those all-inclusive mobile devices that cost over a

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-82787627090056685232010-02-25T20:31:00.001-05:002010-02-25T20:34:50.169-05:00

As the month and snow slowly disappear, I think back to those few weeks of uncertainty that nearly brought the Mid Atlantic to a halt. I recall getting up and shoveling. Barely getting to work. Having an eight hour anxiety attack as I wondered how I would get home from work. Barely getting home. Shoveling before I went to bed.Sure, this is still in the minds and driveways of a lot of us, but

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-1815417903811098222010-02-15T22:20:00.000-05:002010-02-15T22:21:34.868-05:00

If you’re from the Pittsburgh area (and regularly listen to FM radio), you know that 93.7 FM (also known as B-94) has disappeared once again. In its place is a station called “The Fan,” which consists entirely of talk radio, which actually isn’t a big deal to me. I like talk. I like sharing ideas. But in this case, it’s not just any talk radio. “The Fan” is SPORTS talk radio.If you know me, then

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-41390920412647765992010-02-07T11:59:00.009-05:002010-02-07T12:17:44.501-05:00

Pennsylvania was in a state of emergency after receiving nearly two feet of snow throughout Friday night and into Saturday morning. We were all victim to a continuous snowfall that just pounded the area. If you’re living in Pennsylvania, you know the story.And if you’ve lived in Pennsylvania nearly 17 years ago, you would know that this storm is comparable to the infamous “Blizzard of ‘93” where

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-77415545862019471052010-01-21T19:28:00.002-05:002010-01-21T19:31:18.430-05:00

They call me The Predicament. I’m borderline mentally challenged, but I look really good. At night, I like to walk around Jersey shore carnivals with dimwits who look a lot like me. We make fun of people who ain’t like us. We’re tan, tone and tacky. Sometimes we fight people. I run more oil through my hair than I do across my bread while I eat spaghetti. The “Jersey Shore” show inspired me to

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-48437430724911819192010-01-17T22:19:00.000-05:002010-01-17T22:20:11.406-05:00

My wife, Laura, participated in commencement yesterday and received her long-awaited Master’s Degree with a concentration in non-profit management. During the months leading up to the day, Laura was waffling over the idea of going through the whole ceremony. She saw it as a waste of money to buy a cap, gown and hood that she would wear only once. (As if “wearing it only once” was a real excuse. I

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-32740376538792350472010-01-07T20:50:00.001-05:002010-01-07T20:51:41.555-05:00

Today, I overheard someone say they will be at work tomorrow… with bells on. I thought, "I too intend to come to work with my bells on," but they are currently at the cleaners. I’m hoping to have them back before Monday.Okay, that wasn’t funny, but it was, of course, poking fun at an old cliché – and I was disappointed when I couldn’t find the phrase in the Dictionary of Clichés (by James Rogers)

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-49452651763460295742010-01-05T21:21:00.003-05:002010-01-06T22:18:05.018-05:00

Has anyone heard that “Tik Tok” song from the artist currently known as Kesha? If not, let me sum it up for you: It’s a song about partying all day, every day while being busted by police and making out with guys who look like Mick Jagger. The music video begins with her waking up in a bathtub in a strange house and ends with her passing out in another.I heard that she bad-mouthed Domino’s Pizza

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-80113795940210287352010-01-01T19:38:00.000-05:002010-01-01T19:39:57.077-05:00

While reading the November 2009 issue of Glamour (yes, I read it), I came across a section called “Couple Cam” which allows couples to share their latest romantic move. Duane and Pamela (who had been dating for two months when the magazine went to print) said:Pamela: Every day I kiss him, hug him, hold his hand. The whole experience is pure romance.Duane: And I just gave her an engraved iPod

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-1844889784002197762009-12-31T11:32:00.001-05:002010-01-01T19:38:16.589-05:00

I woke up this morning to a magical winter wonderland. Thankfully, this wonderland had delayed garbage pickup and gave me a chance to take out the trash!But this was no ordinary trash pickup. This was Christmas trash pickup and included bags filled with boxes, pretty wrapping, sticky bows and unnecessary ribbons.So then I started thinking about the “keep Christ in Christmas” message I would

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-88476858774980523422009-12-22T22:33:00.001-05:002009-12-22T22:35:46.364-05:00

Have you ever had a good sleep? I mean a really good sleep? A sleep where you wake up at 3:00 AM feeling well-rested only to discover that it is in fact 3:00 AM and you can turn over and sleep from another angle?Well I had such an experience last night and it was nothing short of phenomenal… and long awaited. I can’t remember the last time I had such an epic slumber.I shifted into a deep rest

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-73023563544571207662009-12-19T11:24:00.000-05:002009-12-19T11:25:09.564-05:00

If you live in Southwestern Pennsylvania (or just about anywhere along the East coast), you are likely aware of the recent snow falling. (If not, get up from your computer for a minute and look out the nearest window.)So it looks like I’ll be indoors most of the day. Perhaps I’ll sit down with a piping cup of hot cocoa and listen to my seasonal favorites like “I Witnessed My Parents Engaging in

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-3408799890251597192009-12-15T22:33:00.001-05:002009-12-15T22:35:02.682-05:00

So I basically can’t read or watch anything without hearing about the “tragedy” of Tiger Woods. But I have to be honest, I feel kind of sorry for the guy. I mean, all these years, he’s been a relatively quiet celebrity hardly saying anything over the years, and when he DID speak, it pertained to his game.Now, all of the sudden, he’s a victim of public scrutiny. It’s kind of weird… but maybe that’

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-80143627525233368422009-12-12T19:32:00.000-05:002009-12-12T19:33:01.689-05:00

How come everyone thinks I know all about sports just because I’m a guy?“Ya think they’ll play Gonchar tonight?” someone will ask me once they see I’m wearing a Penguins T-shirt. “How the hell would I know,” I want to ask, but instead I shrug my shoulders, raise my eyebrows and say, “Who knows?”This happens to me nearly every time there is a Steelers or Penguins day at work. On these days, staff

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-64129495468936795932009-12-02T19:45:00.001-05:002009-12-02T19:50:51.492-05:00

A few days before my first wedding anniversary, I decided to go shopping at my local large chain card store for a card that said it all. I usually take little to no time searching for cards, but this one had to be the best.After searching five minutes through the shockingly small “1 Year Anniversary” section, I chose a card that requested additional postage if mailed. (In most cases, the heavier

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-90078348948836003992009-11-21T21:54:00.002-05:002009-11-21T22:08:59.024-05:00

Believe it or not, I went to see the over-anticipated New Moon. (If you are unfamiliar with the popular “Twilight Saga,” allow me to fill you in: It’s a story about a plain, boring girl who falls in love with an awkward pale freak who happens to be a vampire. The conflict? He wants to eat her.)In this sequel, the main characters face another challenge – distance. The vampire “takes a holiday”

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-32064170568237170492009-08-02T15:34:00.001-04:002009-08-02T15:34:46.457-04:00

Yes, it’s been forever since I’ve posted anything, but I have an excuse. I’ve been busy.And by “busy”, I mean real busy. I have more jobs than Ryan Seacrest at the moment, and it’s not for the money. (It’s for the glory!)I’m involved with a lot of things (writing clubs, disc golf clubs, marriage, freelance writing and more) and I can honestly say that I haven’t had a chance to sit down and write

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-42310978717219110162008-07-22T20:47:00.001-04:002008-07-22T20:50:12.009-04:00

Wow! Where has the time gone? It seems as though it’s been years since I last post. Can you believe the “I Kissed a Girl” song (the theme song for our lesbot nation) has dominated the airwaves and I’ve written NOTHING about it?! I’ve been too busy preparing for wedding bliss!Speaking of wedding bliss, we are now in the final preparations for the big day (which is nearly two months away!).

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-4262244553782189442008-05-11T12:44:00.001-04:002008-05-11T12:44:58.832-04:00

I recently decided to take on an additional job as a custodian/maintenance man. (Sure, I may not promote or practice cleaning at home, but I will sure as hell do it for some cash!)At this new job, I’m considered a “floater”, meaning that I go to different buildings every night to do different things; whether it’s cleanings doors, scrubbing walls, collecting trash or dusting horizontal

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-75928447388183149322008-05-06T23:00:00.001-04:002008-05-06T23:00:48.216-04:00

On a recent evening, while the city stared at televisions broadcasting the Penguins game, I sat around my house enjoying the eerie quiet in the neighborhood. (Who am I kidding – it’s always quiet around here!)Just when I thought everyone was preoccupied, my doorbell rang. What the hell?!I opened the front door to find two little boys. The kid who rang the doorbell had painted his face black and

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-51046381786984045692008-04-28T23:19:00.001-04:002008-04-28T23:19:59.526-04:00

There is a new children’s book on shelves titled “My Beautiful Mommy.” The picture book (whose audience is 4 – 7 year-olds) is meant to reassure kids about mom getting new tits and a facelift. It was written by a cosmetic surgeon.According to an article I read online, this controversial book has stirred up debates (and outrage) from feminists as well as other surgeons.In one part of the book, the

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-45060707996424507112008-04-27T23:23:00.000-04:002008-04-27T23:24:41.526-04:00

So after a month on hiatus, I’m back (sort of).Too much has been going on in my personal life to sit down and write anything remotely entertaining. Working 12-hour days doesn’t leave much energy for anything else.On the other hand, I’ve recently received a fresh dose of inspiration for my book, and I hope next weekend includes at least a few hours of writing time. If only I can hold onto the

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-70419281145197213382008-03-05T22:45:00.003-05:002009-12-22T22:51:35.637-05:00

Ben Roethlisberger recently signed a $102 million contract extension with the Pittsburgh Steelers. Reporters from several local television stations hit the streets to interview residents and record their reactions. All of the responses aired went something like this:“I think it’s great! [Ben’s] gotta stay in Pittsburgh.”I was disturbed that not a single person was aired saying something like:“

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-17338755504400827482008-02-27T20:49:00.000-05:002008-02-27T20:50:07.014-05:00

I was saddened to learn that Myron Cope, broadcaster/writer, passed away early this morning. I admired him as a writer and performer.Call me egotistical, but there were quite a few similarities between Mr. Cope and myself. We graduated from The University of Pittsburgh, yearning to become writers (and having a difficult time selling our work). He was famous for his eccentric personality and I’m…

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-16545438467865567572008-02-26T21:16:00.001-05:002009-12-22T23:18:31.502-05:00

I’ve been discharging thick brown ooze from my mouth for the last few days. It tastes like infection.The other day it felt as if the ooze was going to explode through my ears each time I swallowed. My head was filled with the brown and it hurt.As I drove home from work the other day, the brown had reached my ears, thus clogging them. I tried feverishly to pop my ears while maneuvering traffic –

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-62641236177077377562008-02-04T22:07:00.000-05:002008-02-04T22:08:25.989-05:00

I have a couple of wise guys in my mouth. They’re my wisdom teeth, silly!That’s right. I have two wisdom teeth coming in from the top and they’re scheduled for extraction this Friday, and I’m nearly having a panic attack over the whole ordeal. I’ve already had two nightmares about it.Since the initial consultation with the oral surgeon, I’ve been in a downward spiral of doubt and fear –

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-90974796967242533432007-12-10T23:15:00.000-05:002007-12-10T23:16:37.212-05:00

Still writing. Still getting married.I feel somewhat guilty for abandoning my post lately. I mean, isn’t my civic duty as a writer to write – and write on a consistent basis?I’ve been attempting to write several articles and essays at one time, and I’m having trouble following through with my ideas. I simply have too many!I tried to get write an article on internships and an essay on memory while

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-39848955661477732752007-11-26T22:41:00.000-05:002007-11-26T22:50:32.551-05:00

Lately, I’ve been yearning to become more active – in all aspects. I want to play a larger role in everything I’m involved with – in everything I enjoy.I can’t pinpoint the reason for this feeling (nor is the reason important) but for the last week or so, it’s been overwhelming. I’m sensing a major change, but what exactly is it? Could it be my upcoming wedding? A change to my career?Contrary to

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-11612590506934568662007-11-14T21:14:00.000-05:002007-11-14T21:17:32.273-05:00

I was asked to speak to a “Writing in Advertising and Fundraising” class at Pitt tonight. This was my third such panel discussion. I brought the usual with me – samples of my writing on the job (which originated from an internship – so I’m basically the “poster boy” for Pitt’s Writing Program).I shared the panel with three other students who graduated sometime after me. I figured, “I’m the elder.

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-68942537012468404252007-10-16T22:28:00.000-04:002007-10-16T22:29:18.972-04:00

What started as a few hairs on my face has grown into my friend.Sometime last week I decided to sprout a beard – an idea I’ve been curious about but never had the will-power to execute. At first, I looked rather dirty and homeless, but after I trimmed it Sunday morning, I only looked dirty.The funny thing about my facial hair is that it’s a dark red (whereas my head-hair is brown). Several of my

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-88437431529428300022007-09-27T20:46:00.000-04:002007-09-27T20:47:15.288-04:00

In exactly one year from today, I will be married.Grandpa says it a big step, but so is alphabetizing an expansive album collection.What I think I’m trying to say is that I’m ready for the “challenge.” Notice that “challenge” is italicized. This is because I don’t see our relationship as such. It’s all very organic for us. Sure we get in our moods, but who the hell doesn’t? If nobody had moods,

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-67781067081168816782007-09-26T21:51:00.000-04:002007-09-26T21:53:26.640-04:00

I was involved with the Pittsburgh Flying Disc Society’s Scholastic Disc Golf Championship at Phillips Park (a long title, I know) this passed Saturday.I hoped to show up at 8:00 AM, but arrived close to 8:30 which led me to wonder if I had the right park. I expected to come in the middle of the madness with middle school and high school kids registering and tossing money all around. Instead, I

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-28237912177995680992007-09-24T22:40:00.000-04:002007-10-04T17:47:05.666-04:00

It’s been awhile since I blogged about anything and I feel my “return” is long over due. Sure, I logged on and off a few times for the sake of checking messages, but now it’s time to chime in with a good ol’ cyber rant.Tonight I read an article by Jessica Coen who claims to be a former “notorious” blogger who freely voiced (or wrote) her opinions in a clever and sarcastic manner across the empty

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-7184670280704159702007-08-21T00:35:00.000-04:002007-10-05T00:02:42.271-04:00

I’ve met a lot of older people set in their ways. They expect breakfast served no later than 10:00 AM, fruit sliced a certain way and tobacco stuffed into a pipe. Even my Dad, while watching a sitcom, will reflect on the days when saying “son of a bitch” on television was not even an option.We younger people tend to think of previous generations as groups of bitter old people with diaper rash. We

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-25987580099109203112007-08-05T23:55:00.000-04:002007-10-04T23:56:39.403-04:00

I spent several hours tonight cutting unnecessary people from photos dating back seven years.I’ve got to say – a lot has happened in seven years. Hell, a lot has happened in a year. It was actually the past year’s events that prompted my decision to erase my past. So with selections from Radiohead’s “OK Computer” playing in the background, I cut up, scratched out and mutilated my past.During my

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-3972205395737550902007-07-15T19:52:00.000-04:002007-10-04T23:54:20.418-04:00

I almost always carry a pen with me just in case I have to scribble something down, however I don’t always carry a note pad. For scratch paper, I rely on my trusty co-workers!I was in a paper predicament the other day while at the Main Reception desk – had the pen and not the paper. Darlene, the receptionist, was kind enough to supply me with several small pieces of scratch paper joined together

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com90tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-2926048991164747222007-07-09T21:58:00.000-04:002007-10-04T17:51:34.995-04:00

Ever notice that a lot of songs bring out the worst in people?Okay, let me clarify what I’m trying to communicate. Have you ever noticed that certain music can bring out an ugly, embarrassing persona when combined with either an enormous ego or a large quantity of alcohol?Stupid SongsI’ve seen even the utmost conservative businessman loose himself whenever the first few chords of “Sweet Home

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3433489186239687956.post-17930762599137101682007-07-02T23:06:00.000-04:002007-07-02T23:08:20.325-04:00

Hello! Is anyone out there?I come from the cyber cesspool where everyone has their own little “space.”Perhaps “cesspool” is too harsh. Aside from the sex freaks and bad press MySpace has received in the past year or so, I think it’s safe to say that Tom and his crew have done quite an impressive job in expanding their little social site. There are now a number of organizations, interest groups

Jonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01464401537334868568noreply@blogger.com2